NFC East
Dallas Cowboys: 9.5 wins- I'm pretty sure this number came out before Tony Romo's injury, but that doesn't matter to me. For those of us fortunate enough to have the ability to think about the Cowboys with some semblance of rational thought, this is one of the easiest calls in the league. Sure, they have some talent. But they've had talent for the last 20 years. Under
New York Giants: 8- Giants are one of the big stories of the offseason, spending huge money to shore up a lousy defense. Will it work? We know Damon Harrison is good. We know Janoris Jenkins can create turnovers, but he studied at the Prestigious Asante Samuel School of Creating Big Plays for Both Teams. We know Olivier Vernon had a great second half, but a pretty meh first three and a half years. We know they'll have a great passing attack, but what about the run? For me, all of this adds up to a 9 win team. In the NFC East, that's enough to cruise into the playoffs. Does that give them the magic to pull a Super Bowl out of their ass yet again? Probably. Over
Washington Redskins: 7.5- First off, I'd like to point out how brave it is to use this team's name. It takes a lot of courage to type out Washington, but I'd like to think I'm making a difference. Please, I don't want attention, I just like taking solace in the fact that I'm willing to make a stand. As for the team, I don't know, I don't see it this season. They'll be able to pass, but can they do much else? Methinks not really. Under
Philadelphia Eagles: 7- I know the NFC East's idiot fans always bet on them and inflate the lines and projected win totals, but man this is easy. Not that I'm complaining. This team won't be very good. They won't be terrible, especially on defense, but they won't win more than 6 games. Under
NFC North
Green Bay Packers: 10.5- Getting Jordy Nelson back is bad news for the rest of the league. I haven't fully crunched the numbers, but I'm pretty sure Aaron Rodgers' QBR is a perfect 100 when Nelson is in the lineup. The defense is getting better each season, thanks to a stable of veteran stars and emerging young talent. They might finish the regular season with the league's best record. Over
Minnesota Vikings: 9.5- Another total that came out before a team lost their starting quarterback, this one is a little murkier. For starters, the Vikings roster is clearly better than the Cowboys', and is better than most of the NFC. The defense has a chance to be really good this year. They still have Adrian Peterson, who may be an android, and a couple good receiving threats. If Bradford plays the same role as Bridgewater did last season, I like their chances this season. Over
Chicago Bears: 7.5- The Bears felt a lot worse than they actually were last season. The defense was hot garbage, but they added two excellent middle linebackers in Danny Trevathan and Jerrell Freeman, and getting Kevin White back is like adding another first round pick. There's still a lot of holes in this roster though. I think they'll mostly tread water this season. Under
Detroit Lions: 7.5- Somewhere amongst the infinite variances of the universe, there's a world where the Lions are perennial contenders and multi-time Super Bowl winners. We do not live in this reality. Under
NFC South
Carolina Panthers: 10.5- The Panthers are a trendy pick to regress, simply because you don't win 15 games back-to-back seasons. I think they'll drop a few wins due to karmic retribution for all that dabbing. I mean, what kind of impact did that have on young minds? A good team enjoying themselves? For shame, Panthers, for shame. They won't win 15 games, but they'll still be pretty darn good. Over
Atlanta Falcons: 7.5- Hey, they've got Julio Jones! But not much else! No, the offense has some good pieces, but the ceiling feels like it's just above average. The defense has less good pieces than the offense, and the ceiling feels like it's just below average. That's all this team can really be. Average. Under
New Orleans Saints: 7- A little good news, bad news for the Saints. Bad news: they probably had the worst defense of all time last season. Good news: it can't really get worse! As long as Drew Brees suits up, they'll have a great offense and be tough to beat at home. The defense has to be at least slightly better. I have a good feeling about this team this year. I think they'll be in the division race until the end. Over
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 7- A seemingly eternal pick to take a leap into relevancy, this season feels like it might happen. The swashbuckling offense should be explosive despite offensive line troubles, and the defense has some really good run defenders. They might get plundered through the air, though, since their secondary is about as worthless as a sail with holes in it. Actually, I'd take the sail over whoever else they have at corner besides rookie Vernon Hargreaves. Time will tell if this team finds it's buried treasure or gets lost at sea. That's a few too many pirate jokes for my taste. Over
NFC West
Seattle Seahawks: 10.5- When they're rolling, the only team that scares me more than Seattle is the Giants, and that's only because I have severe Super Bowl-related PTSD. Every year it seems like they lose some key guy on defense, only to replace him with some other new star from out of nowhere. Add to that the offense was just as good as the defense last season, and this team could cause some serious damage. Plus, as long as they have Russell Wilson's hookup for magic nanobubbles, no one will get injured. Over
Arizona Cardinals: 10- I'm all in on this Cardinals team. I don't know if it's because of All or Nothing on Amazon recently or not, but I think they're the best team in the NFC. They have no weaknesses. As long as Carson Palmer doesn't lose his mind like he did in the playoffs they'll be a dominant force. Count me in for both Seahawks-Cardinals games. Over
Los Angeles Rams: 7.5- I feel like Hard Knocks always boosts a team's total at least one game. The defensive line is certainly playoff-quality. As is the running back. And the punter. But, it's Jeff Fisher. How far from .500 is he willing to deviate? Not particularly, I'm guessing. This team is gonna struggle to score, especially in this division. Congrats on getting football back, L.A. Here's a full season of Case Keenum! Under
San Francisco 49ers: 5.5- Fellow Chip Kelly believers, stand up! Too bad this roster stinks. They don't stand out in any area, unless you count standing out for being bad. Tough for any QB to stand tall in the pocket behind arguably a bottom-five offensive line. The defense isn't all that bad, but that isn't much of a leg to stand on. Tough to see them taking many knees in victory formation this year. Under
Bonus NFC Championship Game Preview
Cardinals beat Seahawks
Special Bonus Super Bowl Pick
Patriots beat Cardinals
End of season award predictions
MVP: Aaron Rodgers (Dark horse pick:
DPOY: Aaron Donald (Dark horse pick: Jamie Collins)
OROY:
DPOY: Vernon Hargreaves (Dark horse pick: Myles Jack)
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